TV and ME |
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Recaps, commentary, highlights of your pop culture favourites and mine!
Email me: timmybopper@yahoo.com 
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Friday, November 28, 2003
Check this out JIN He's the Chinese rapper we all saw on BET 106 and Park and now he's got a single out on Ruff Ryders. Check out "Learn Chinese" - the Chinese ad-libs in it are hilarious... I can just picture the Black people playing this and being like "WTF?" But it's got a good beat and he flow real well... even in Cantonese! Check out the link. Reeee-run! With this week being full of re-runs on TV, I thought I'd re-run one of the columns I wrote last year for the McGill Tribune... thought it was still "timely" given the recent events surrounding Michael Jackson... lemme know whatcha think! Main Street Tim Chan I don’t get it. What is it with all these people trying to be somebody they’re not? Posers. Wannabes. Fakes. Like the time I overheard the girl sitting behind me in class use phrases like, “my sista, that is wack!" and, not even kidding you, “jigga what?!” only to turn around and find myself staring at the whitest girl this side of Hicksville. Turn on any radio or music video station these days and you'll hear the "R&B" stylings of Justin (Swapped curls for cornrows) Timberlake and Shawn (I’m ghetto like Vanilla Ice) Desman blazing up the charts. Sure their music's catchy, but when they're singing about the "ice around their necks" and "getting shook," it just sounds well, wrong. The only "ice" that Justin saw growing up was from working the drinks at Denny's. And I'm sure Shawn's been "shook" – shook and beat-up by the gang he stole his moves from. Shawn’s real last name is Fernandez, but he changed it to Desman, hoping to distinguish himself from the rash of Latino artists out there by giving his name some street cred. Now I don’t know what street he got “Desman” from, but it sure ain’t the Bronx, that’s for sure. And is it just me, or do all aspiring hip-hop/R&B artists credit Michael Jackson as their inspiration? Pretty ironic how the white guys are trying to go black, while their "American Idol" is becoming increasingly white. But enough about Wacko Jacko… he’s been getting enough flack from his recent 20/20 television special, whose shock value topped even that of R. Kelly’s collection of home movies. But maybe the public has been too harsh on MJ. I mean, just because he admitted to having two nose jobs, snatching his newborn – placenta still attached - right after birth and sleeping with thirteen-year old boys in his bedroom, does not mean he’s crazy! Right… this totally makes Mariah Carey look normal. I have to admit, I didn’t really understand what the girl sitting behind me was talking about. I’ve never really understood the hip-hop lingo. The first time I heard J. Lo sing about her “Escalade”, I actually thought she was talking about an escalator. And last week, when a friend of mine asked me if he could “cop” a ride, I swear I thought I was being arrested. (Not that I would have any reason to be arrested…) Perhaps it’s just me. Maybe it’s because I am an unassuming Chinese boy from middle-class Toronto who’s first exposure to popular music was the unfortunate dance beats of Fun Factory and Haddaway. And over the years, my only experience with Black culture has consisted of watching NBA Inside Stuff on Saturday mornings and the occasional Jamaican beef patty for lunch… except that it was bought from Loblaws. Up until a few years ago, I wouldn’t have been able to tell an Ashanti from Saraswati, the Hindu goddess of speech, wisdom and learning. So maybe Justin Timberlake and Shawn Desman are hip-hop and R&B and I just don’t know any better. Maybe they’re not so phony after all. Because in the end, who says R&B singers have to be Black anyway? As Micheal Jackson sang himself, “it don’t matter if you’re black or white” to be a successful R&B star. You just have to love children. Wednesday, November 26, 2003
Ryan is SO whipped by Trista. She totally bosses him around. And the producers of their new "wedding special" aren't hiding the fact at all. The dialogue ratio on the show is like 4:1, in favour of Trista. She gets all the "smiley" and laughing shots while the camera just shows Ryan looking glum. And bored. And nervous. Whipped I tell you. Whipped like the topping I could've had on my coconut lemon meringue pie for dessert tonight if my girlfriend would have let me have it. Okay... I don't have a girlfriend, but that was 'spose to be funny... cuz I was talking about Ryan being whipped when I was whipped? Never mind... girlfriend jokes aren't funny when you don't have one... they're actually quite sad... I'm sad... I don't have a girlfriend... (sniff, sniff) Tuesday, November 25, 2003
Did some research and answered my own question. Apparently, Justin's been DUMPED by his record label. Oh that is so... whatever... who cares?! Read the article here Ah... I love Christmas time. And I love the American Idols (hello Christina Christian!) The American Idol Christmas special was great. PS> Did anyone else notice that Ruben's tongue was blue when he sang "This Christmas?" And how good was Ruben and Tamyra's duet? Oh...! (I'm doing that fanning my self with my hand as I shake my head thing right now) Kelly Clarkson was good too, but uh, where was Justin? Hmm... I don't really like country music. And Shania Twain's just okay to me. The Shania Twain "UP" close and personal special wasn't that great. Granted, her personal anecdotes were touching and unique - it's rare to see such a personable performer... I think she almost cried when recalling her mother... But I feel like Shania's voice is getting more and more nasal. Like dye her hair black and I'd swear it was the Nanny! Monday, November 24, 2003
It was a night of "Joe's" for me. I decided in favour of the Joe Millionaire finale over the OC tonight, but that's really okay because I can always catch the OC on FOX. They seem to rerun the same episode every other night... But Joe Joe Joe. Of course, as we all knew he would, he picked Linda. And of course, as we all knew she would, she got all confused again and started questioning herself and crying and doubting this and that and zzzzzzzzz. Honestly Linda - get a grip! The ending was unpredictable though. Not unpredictable like "I can't believe that happened!!!" but unpredictable like "I can't believe this stuff makes it on television." But it's FOX (who brought us the gripping, Mr. Personality) so all is forgiven. In the end, Linda, who bases her decisions on voices in her head rather than common sense or logic ("I could hear David calling me to him" she says to the camera), ventured all the way out to Texas to reunite with her new love. Like last year, FOX gave out a hefty cheque to her. Unlike last year, FOX bought David a ranch and a 90 acre piece of property. She can't believe it. He is estatic. They decide that they should really probably touch or something to prove to the home audience that they truly are in love. He decides to pat her on her back as if she were his horse. ("That a girl!"). She leans in to hug him but can't decide whether or not to go through with it because the voices in her head have stopped caring. Just like I have stopped caring. This edition of Joe sucked. "I want you to meet my family," says David. Running out from the house comes his dog. "I really believe in happy endings," says Linda. "I can't wait for her to settle down on this farm with me!" declares David. "This is love," they both agree. "Damn! I missed the OC for this?" I say to myself. And then there was the other Joe. The Average Joe. Oh boy. Those "Average Joe" guys totally kick themselves in the groin. Take for example, Alex, who was inexplicably cast by NBC as one of the "hunks" who entered the show. I honestly thought he was another "twist" - like the below average Joe maybe? But apparently the producers saw something good looking about him because he was cast as a "hot guy." This has led to Alex believing that he is a lot more handsome than he deserves credit for. "I wish people would see that there's more to me than just a pretty face," he laments as he is eliminated by Melina. Uh Alex... it's hard for people to see "more" when they can't even see the pretty face you're talking about... And then there's John. Poor poor John. He saved a rock from the beach date he had with Melina and as he was eliminated tonight he had the terrible graces to utter "I had this rock in my pocket every time I thought of you." Melina manages a smile but can't believe John had the audacity to talk about his errection like that. If it were hot guy Michael on the other hand... Melina's smile gets wider... PS> Don't even get me started on Oprah's "Favourite Things" episode today. For all the talk Oprah makes about helping the needy and reaching out to others, she gives away an awful lot of expensive stuff to her upper middle-class audience. And how many favourite things can one person have anyway? Whatever happened to a favourite season or a favourite colour? Apparently they've been replaced as favourites by diamond chokers and cashmere sweaters... Sunday, November 23, 2003
"This is so pathetically cheesy," I think to myself. It's the cast of Friends' first "farewell interview" and Oprah's making them take turns saying nice things about each other. "Okay David Schwimmer, now it's your turn to say something about each castmate," Oprah says with her trademark "flop the hair a bit but make it look assertive" nod. "So sappy!" I say out loud. Everyone's saying the same things: Jennifer's got a big heart, Courtney's generous, Matthew's a joker, blah blah blah. "I can't believe how stupid this is!" But yet as each cast member finishes his/her tribute, I find myself compulsively clapping along with the audience, cheering madly for the cast. I can't help it. It's so incredibly campy (like literally, remember at camp when you had to say nice things about each other around the fire?) but yet so sweet. A fitting testament to their friendships on, and off screen. "This is so sweet!" I catch myself thinking, "Great sharing guys! Bravo!" It'll be sad when this final season's over. It's hard to replace Friends like these. Friday, November 21, 2003
OMG! - From ET Online: Actor JONATHAN BRANDIS, who starred in the TV series "SeaQuest DSV" and the 'Neverending Story' film sequel has died, possibly of suicide. Los Angeles police say a friend called 911 from Brandis' apartment just before midnight on November 11 to report Brandis had attempted suicide. Paramedics took him to a hospital where he died the next day. An autopsy has been performed, but the cause of death will not be determined until the results of blood and toxicology tests come back. Brandis was 27 years old. ~ I remember every Sunday night being my family's SeaQuest DSV and Lois and Clark nights. And I also remember how quickly Jonathan Brandis went from "next hottest thing" to obscurity, but really, suicide? Man... Wednesday, November 19, 2003
What a shocking Smallville! Now my friends back in the great O.N.T. will kill me for spoiling it for them (since we're one episode ahead here thanks to the WB), so I'll try to keep mum about the details. But when Lana almost got _____ by the _____, I seriously let out a loud scream! And then, when _____ _____whipped Clark in the face with the _____ my mouth dropped wide open... just like when Lex and Clark went back to the warehouse to look for the aforementioned _____ _____ and saw a bunch of _____ instead! And don't even get me started with Lex and how he saw Clark ___________________!! Man. What a seriously strange, tense, dramatic turn of events for Smallville. And I love how the endings of Smallville are always so profound. The last scene tonight showed how things that normally seem so contrasting can be at once jarring and beautiful. Johnny Cash singing a Trent Reznor Nine Inch Nails song. Lana thanking Clark for being there... and then asking him to stay away. Lionel Luther literally reaching out to Lex at the psychiatric ward... oops, I mean at the _____ _____!! Tuesday, November 18, 2003
Just try to wipe this huge smile off of my face. I've been grinning ear to ear for the past three hours thanks to the great Britney Spears special on ABC, an awesome thanksgiving episode of The OC and the return of Linda on Joe Millionaire! And to top it all off, Tareq the geek (ha ha that rhymes!) got kicked off Average Joe! (And just as I predicted, the "twist" announced this week was the introduction of 3 "hot" guys to compete with the average Joes... wow, TV does NOT get better than this!) But let's break it down, break it down, break it down... [8 pm] Britney Spears can DANCE! And her songs are so catchy! And she is so hot! I was studying while watching her on TV so there was definitely a pen in my pocket... [8-10 pm] People who say that what we learn in school can't apply to the "real world" are wrong. Everything I've learned about scheduling and balancing priorities totally helped me juggle watching Joe Millionaire in between Britney and The OC tonight! The producers of this reality show are such geniuses for setting up the final two as "confident sexy vamp" vs. "low self-confidence girl." I'm rooting for Linda if only because Cat seems like she's only in it to win. Linda obviously likes David for who he is but get some backbone girl! She's got to stop crying at every little thing! (PS> Does anyone still remember the "fake millionaire" aspect of this show anymore? Cuz god knows I forgot. It's become just another "Bachelor"-wannabe, only with girls who don't speak English... and drink a lot... a lot...) [9 pm] I usually hate thanksgiving episodes cuz it's always about something going wrong with the turkey dinner. But The OC tonight was really really good! I LOVED the cute banter between Kirsten and Sandy as they tried to hook up Mona and Jimmy (that was definitely something I never saw coming). And Julie Cooper is officially the best bitch on TV! Meanwhile, usually annoying Seth was at his hormornal best tonight and by hor, I mean I want him to be with Summer! [10 pm] I've decided that Average Joes have to resort to twice the back-stabbing and excuses of pretty people because they can't rely on nice teeth or big muscles to get the girl. But enough about my love life... Tareq is a freak! (man that name lends itself to such bad rhyming cuplets!) "I have a PhD in the study of logic," he says, "but I never calculated this could happen." Oh... my... god... go back to where you came from... probably the library... [11 pm] Yeah still watching TV... don't doubt me guys... when I set my schedule, I STICK to it no matter what! I'm that disciplined. So yeah, Everwood has yet to disappoint me. And I know she's been in like 5 episodes already but I finally stopped seeing Marcia Cross as Kimberley Mancini from Melrose Place tonight. [12 am] More Britney - this time on Leno. Live singing - really good. Too bad it's coming from the backup singers. Britney's back to her occasional "whoo" and then "pretend to fix the headset-mic" bit. Ah well. Still hot. [12:30 am] Time to get to my studying! [12:35 am] Enough of studying - I'm freakin' tired [12:45 am] Let's blog! Sunday, November 16, 2003
You're gonna be sick of hearing me talk about Britney, but with her CD coming out this Tuesday, she's EVERYWHERE (and this blog included). Check out Mad TV's site for a really funny parody of her "Me Against the Music" video! Best line of the week: (From SNL's Weekend Update) "Demi Moore celebrated her 40th birthday this past week with boyfriend Ashton Kutcher. When asked for comment, Moore said she may be 40, but feels 25 inside!" (Oooh!) Friday, November 14, 2003
And now a moment of silence please to grieve the break-up of the fourth most famous boy band of our youth - O-Town is no longer. Goodbye to our cherished "Making the Band" memories of chants about Dan being "irresponsible and mean," Shelley's whining, Ikaika's dad and brother coming from Hawaii to take him home, off-key singing at Miss America, Ashley's mean father, a song titled "Liquid Dreams" and Lou Pearlman's perv insistence on "congratulating" his "boys" by rubbing their shoulders or giving them a slap on the butt. "Who's your daddy?" As terribly troubled and messed-up Dateline NBC made Britney Spears out to be last Sunday, ABC's Primetime Thursday painted an entirely different picture. (Watch the interview HERE)There she was, the seemingly perfect Britney Spears - biting her nails, cracking her knuckles, looking nervous, looking embarrassed and (gasp... could it be?) crying. Like real crying. Not fake "Lucky" video crying. And so the hour went... viewers able to see Britney is a totally different light. No more memorized answers or rehearsed reactions to questions, but rather a Britney that approached each question with intent and each answer with thought. Diane Sawyer asked all the questions that we wanted to know, but did so in a manner that was neither off-putting nor condescending. "Do you like your voice?" she asked. "It's okay I guess," came the reply, "although I love Christina's voice." Bonus points to Brit for the kind reference to her supposed "rival" Xxx-Tina, who in desparation has taken to publicly making fun of Britney. (But that's another story altogether...) Britney talked about her image and responded to critics who say she has shed her wholesome image. "They never said I was wholesome. They said I was too provocative then too!" She talked about Justin and how betrayed she felt when she first saw "Cry Me a River" and then shifted uncomfortably when Diane Sawyer asked if her new song, "Everytime," was her response. She talked about her parents' divorce. She talked about losing her virginity. "I really thought it was something sacred... I didn't expect him to be telling the whole world about it on the radio!" She sang a little A Capella (in perfect pitch by the way). She even talked about... are you ready for this?... female masturbation. But the defining moment came when Diane Sawyer asked about the "tough year" this has been for Britney Spears - Break up, divorce, family illness, fans' backlash, critics... Britney was at first shy, squealing and covering her face in embarrassment. But then her hand came down and you saw that tears had welled up in her eyes. She was now at a loss for words, sobbing, and asked politely for the cameras to be turned off. Britney Spears can say a lot of things. She can sing about a lot of things. She can dress-up or play-down and she can even transform herself into a variety of characters. But for that minute or so, Britney didn't say anything. She wasn't acting. She wasn't made-up. She was just a twenty-one year old girl who felt sad. She's twenty-one. That's my age. Imagine all the things I complain and stress about and how I feel overwhelmed? I can't even fathom how Britney does it. She's far from perfect (she used the word "sacred" to describe masturbation... wtf?) and she's still got a lot to learn, but last night, Britney showed that she's fine with that. She desires not to be a famous "icon" or to be the world's sexiest superstar. Britney just wants some room to breathe... and some space to be herself. She's not that innocent... but she's still a little girl at heart. Thursday, November 13, 2003
Sigh. Lana's gone from "moping" to "mopping" over on Smallville. Why does ever "freak of the week" like Lana? Why can't they like stalk, Pete for once? Is Pete still even on the show? And enough of this Clark vs. Lana awkwardness already writers! Clark said he doesn't wanna date her, can we not just leave it at that and move on? Apparently not because we're subjected to the same back and forth dialogue and looks of longing week after week after week. Sigh. In other news, Allison Mack (who plays Chloe) revealed in her blog that she LOVES Le Chateau... just thought that merited some mention... Tuesday, November 11, 2003
I call it the Ray Pruit syndrome. When musician Jamie Walters starred as Ray Pruit in 90210, his CD sales sky-rocketed and his single, "Hold On" lept to the top of the charts. (C'mon... admit it - you remember...) But then something strange happened. Ray Pruit became a violent, angry boyfriend who beat Donna Martin, and 90210 fans, who couldn't tell that he was just acting, stopped buying Jamie Walters CDs and stopped requesting his songs on the radio. A few months later, Ray was off the show and Jamie was never heard from again. Chris Carmack was the guest on Sharon Osbourne's show today. Chris plays bad boyfriend Luke on The OC - the Abercrombie jock who took Marissa's virginity and then cheated on her with her friend?! (That bastard!) In a surprising entrance to the stage, Chris entered from the audience.. playing saxaphone! He then serenaded Sharon with his "sax" appeal, prompting Sharon to utter the "Ray Pruit" line: "You're such a bad boy! I never knew you could play musical instruments!" She had obviously confused Chris with Luke. Chris responded that music was a passion of his (he also plays guitars!) and that he looked forward to showcasing that side of him some more to his fans. Just make sure your OC fans can differentiate between actor and character. And don't start beating your girlfriend... Everwood = Good. Last night's episode was such a contrast from anything else that I saw on TV that it was a welcome relief from the hijinks of Punked or the soapy OC. Soft and sullen, moving along by its own pace, Everwood's one of those shows that doesn't hit you with continuous love triangles or bitchy cat-fighting friends or even fancy events where all the characters get dressed up in revealing clothes (ahem, OC). If you watch it for the first time, you might feel impatient, as if you're ready for the plot to move on, but you're stuck with the time dimension created by the writers. But give it a try and you'll begin to see that the events on Everwood are meant to be taken slowly, as if to help the audience better appreciate the stories they're trying to tell. And whether it is watching Amy's bouts of depression, Ephram's continuing maturity or Linda's shocking HIV revelation(!), you end up getting to know (and getting to like) each character individually for their own unique traits. The storylines will captivate you, not by their antics or flashy plot twists, but rather because they make you care about what happens. And by the end of the episode, you feel as if time has passed by too fast and you still need a moment to catch your breath. Everwood - watch it. Monday, November 10, 2003
I realized tonight that I'm one of those people who talk to their television sets. If you had observed me during Punked, Joe Millionaire and The OC tonight, you would've either thought that I was having a seizure or hallucinating an imaginery best friend. The way I channel switched from show to show could also lead some to bring up the "Tim is so schizo" rumours once again. Yes, I said once again. (No I didn't!) Yes, I did. I would lie down on the couch to get cozy for Jessica and Nick on "Punked" and then get up to yell at Olinda (from Joe) for being so rude. Then I shifted uncomfortably while Jessica Biel was getting "punked" and accused of being too sexually obscene with a little kid. Then I would "ooo" and "awww" when Giada got kicked off Joe. And then I groaned when David (from Joe) said "I like Olinda, she's clearly not a gold-digger" and then FOX showed Olinda saying "I love diamonds! I love money!" And then David said, "I like Petra. She doesn't smoke!" and then FOX showed Petra puffing away in the dining room and by the pool and on the balcony and in her room! Are you following me here? And don't even get me started on The OC! How did Ryan and Marissa just start admitting their feelings a week ago and start off tonight's episode doing the horizontal on the bed? That definitely emited some moaning... from me that is..... moans of disgust that is... let's be clear here... Lazily dropping back down on the couch, I jumped up in time to yell at Olinda to "shut up" with her bashing of Cat (who was my new favourite for like 4 minutes tonight). Then I almost have a fit as Mona makes her move on Sandy, eyebrows and all, on The OC. I wanted to call out Benjamin McKenzie on his "look" but then he pulled a "smiling face," an "embarrassed face" and an "understanding face" out of his repertoire. And as the night ended, I let out a "YES!" and a slight fist pump as Olinda finally got kicked off Joe which was immediately followed by a loud "HUH?!" as it was revealed that someone formally kicked off Joe will return next week! Wow. What an exciting two hours. Who needs to hit the gym when TV can be such a workout! Now if you excuse me, I hafta watch Average Joe and Everwood. Ooo and the Daisy Fuentes Pilates informercial's on - bonus! =p Sunday, November 09, 2003
"Britney Unzipped," was the headline that Dateline NBC used for its special tonight on reigning Pop Princess Britney Spears. (Jenny/Doris - I tried calling you guys to tell you it was on but your phone was off!) Anyway... Dateline tried explaining why Britney's act has gotten racier and well, less guarded (in every sense of the word) in recent years. The conclusion was that Britney is all style and no substance... unless it was substance abuse as evidenced by her nights of reported "heavy drinking". The show aired interviews with stylists who traced the shedding of her clothes, ex-MMC (Mickey Mouse Club) members who recounted Britney's "surprising" rise to fame (those jealous Mousketeers!) and clips of interviews with Britney herself, appearing to grow more and more detached from who she really is. Now here's the thing. And don't laugh. The other night, I.. sorta had this dream that Britney Spears committed suicide. It's ridiculous right? Or is it?... (insert narrow-eyed pensive look followed by rubbing of chin in thought here) It's like what happened with Whitney Houston. The whole element of fame affects someone until they no longer know who they are and what they are trying to represent. I feel like Britney has nowhere left to go - but down perhaps? She looks confused and tired of being the "siren." Recent interviews have shown Britney acting edgier and more impatient and she recently cancelled a European promo tour citing "the flu" although sources say it's due to a physical and emotional breakdown. Now where have we heard that before? A little Mariah rehash maybe? Okay, it's pretty stupid that I spend time NOT doing my stats assignment and dreaming up suicidal visions of Britney Spears, BUT watching the special just re-cemented what I had already been thinking of - Britney Spears could be such a classy and talented performer. She's not the best singer or dancer, but she has star quality. If only she'd put her star power to good use and channel something positive as opposed to looking for another way to appear on page six. I've been reminded by someone in recent days about my fondness for all things Britney. I thought I grew out of my "phase" (which culminated in the throwing away of a Britney poster... and calendar... and magazine) but I guess I'm just a sucker for these sorts of things... It'd be slightly less embarrassing to admit, however, if Britney could tone down the "bone" and get back "In the Zone." Nov. 17th. Buy it. =p Thursday, November 06, 2003
Top headline in today's Montreal Gazette: Bryan "rocked" Princess Di. Apparently Bryan Adams, the musician, had an affair with Princess Diana, the uh, princess... I'm sorry, but can she not do better than Bryan Adams? That guy has pores the size of islands in the pacific! His face looks like it exploded! Well I guess Diana was always fond of landmines... Worst episode of Smallville ever. It was half-60s flashback sequence, half-softcore porn. All unwatchable. Worst episode of The Bachelor ever. Estella may be a hottie, but she is such a spoiled brat/gold-digger it's no wonder she lives in Bev Hills and her poor mommy visits from South Central. I swear Estella somehow manipulated mommy dearest out of her life savings. And she'll do that to Bob too! She'll dump you when you get fat again too! Run Bob! Run away now! Clever costuming by the wardrobe lady casting Estella in all black while putting Kelly Jo in a white dress in tonight's final scene. (Whatever, we all know he's picking Kelly Jo anyway). Monday, November 03, 2003
Benjamin McKenzie has exactly one look. And he got to use it plenty of times on The OC tonight as Ryan had no friends at school, Ryan pined after Marissa, Ryan got in yet another fight with Luke (yawn) and Ryan was given "fatherly advice" from Mr. Cohen. It's like Ben Stiller's "Blue Steel" in Zoolander, only worse. Sure the character of Ryan's moody and troubled, but honestly, can he please find something to do with his face other than contort it into his "pensive pout" look? Seriously. On a separate note, I'm loving the interaction between Summer and Seth, but this whole thing with Anna is so played out already. The whole "secretly in love with your best friend" plotline was SO three teen dramas ago! And let me guess... will Sandy be hit on by his new co-worker Mona? (Okay, I know that was her name on Friends, but I don't even think she has a name on the show other than "seductress"). The suspense is killing me! Not. |