Recaps, commentary, highlights of your pop culture favourites and mine! Email me: timmybopper@yahoo.com

 
Great episode of Friends tonight. It managed to do something that the show hasn't done in a while - be emotional and heartfelt without losing its humour. Ross was funny, embarrasing and sad at the same time. Frank Jr.'s always fun to watch. Chandler's adoption slip was classic.

Scrubs... I'm sure someone's been telling me to start watching this for a while now... Chrishelme maybe? But I watched it tonight and it was well, emotional and heartfelt without losing its humour. Man this "Must see TV" is good at that! 4 words: Sarah Chalke is Canadian. Nice.

And then there's Coupling. So sexed-up. So rude. So damn funny! Sample line: Susan: "Patrick is very donkey-like... well, let's just say he's a tripod." Patrick: (trips and falls) Stupid third leg's always tripping me up!" Who writes this stuff? Love the fore-, I mean, word-play! 7 words: Lindsay Price is bisexual on the show. Nice.
posted by Tim at 11:44 PM

 
I once had a roommate that looked like Clark Kent. I miss Sam. And I miss Clark too. Because new, "red kryptonite" Clark was so damn annoying in the season premiere.

So apparently there's a shortage of shirts in Smallville this week because Clark keeps ripping them off to reveal his "chiseled" chest. And by chiseled I mean the "S" superman logo is beginning to form. Only on Smallville, no one knows who "superman" is yet, so shhh! Oh and Lex is shirtless too because he's stranded on some island with Tom Hanks from "Cast Away." Damn Lana, take off that blouse already!

Anyway, there really wasn't anything else of note in tonight's episode. Well, maybe Chloe's new haircut, preparing her for an upcoming lesbian storyline maybe? Oh and Dr. Helen wasn't dead - she survived and was last seen walking smugly into her newly inherited mansion. Lionel accused her of setting Lex up and killing him which probably means he's the one who actually did it and she just somehow survived. Besides, we're spose to believe she's evil by the way she waltzed into the room carrying a ton of shopping bags... which means she probably just lost all her clothes in the plane crash and not that she's a femme fatale. Oh and the ending was one of those "to be continued" thingys. Clever twist on Survivor Lex's storyline. Not so clever twist on Superdad Jonathan. See you next week for the conclusion to this season premiere!
posted by Tim at 12:50 AM

 
"I really want Keith and Tara to win," I say to my friend Doris, "although I love Charla! I wish her and Keith could've won together..." And so begins our Paradise Hotel viewing party for the season finale of quite possibly the most superficial, bitchy and slutty show on TV - in other words, we were in for a fun night!

If my faithful blog readers (okay, my faithful blog reader) will recall, I predicted last week that the old guests would be the ones picking the winner. And of course, my keen sense of foreshadow proved correct, as Beauty and the Beast (Beau and Toni... you decide who's the beauty and who's the beast) came back to tell the remaining guests exactly that. Thankfully for Keith's chances, he picked to go all the way (to the final 4 that is...) with Dave and Charla. Even though Dave didn't deserve it btw.

Flashback sequence - scenes of Tara in her booty shorts, Tara in her "kissy kissy" underwear, Tara in a bikini... I am slightly drooling... scenes of Charla in her tight dress, Charla in her "runway" piece, Charla also in a bikini... drooling continues... scenes of Dave's flabby stomach, pasty chest and honkin' nose. Drooling stops. Regurgitation of my dinner begins...

I'm always up for characters redeeming themselves to me (ex. Chad in For Love or Money 2) but Dave just got more and more Pinnochio. No wonder his nose is so honkin' big! "I can't believe you would've betrayed Keith and Tara," pouts Charla. "Can you please be nice to them?" Dave shoots back his Britney look ("I'm not that innocent!") and replies "No. I want to be mad at Keith so I can compete with him!" Excuse me Dave? Don't make me get all Toni on you Mr. Competitive!

The remaining two couples give their speeches. Dave tells Charla he wants to fake cry. (I doubt he'll be fake crying once Toni lays it on him...) He writes a long speech filled with cliches about "learning a lot" and being "friends forever." I feel as though he is writing the valedictorian speech he always wanted to write but never got the chance (or the votes) to write in elementary school... and high school... and university. Or he thinks he's running for student council. He forgets that student council members just run the events - the money always went to someone else.

Keith starts reading a prepared speech but then puts it away to speak from the heart. He starts real crying. Kavita cries. Desiree cries. Wait.. is that a tear coming from Toni? No, she's just got something in her eye. She doesn't have any emotions remember? Everyone applauds Keith's speech. He is so going to win.

What to do? What to do? Tara's hot and all, but I want Charla and Keith to win! Too bad they're with different partners. Cut to scene of Alex, Beau and Andon talking. "I think Charla deserves it," says Alex. "I want her to win, but not with Dave... too bad we can't do anything about it...." And so my friends, in this not-so-clever attempt at subtle foreshadowing by the producers, we now know that my wish will come true. At the final "group" mug, hot host girl (whose name I forget) reveals that the 4 of them have to switch partners. Hooray for Charla and Keith who win! I am SO SO sorry for Tara who not only loses, but is stuck with Dave! (She tries to make a pouty sad face but it is not as effective as Charla's perfected pout and so I am unmoved by Tara's predicament).

Twist, twist! So apparently Charla and Keith hafta decide whether to keep their prize (a lousy $250 000) or split it with their original partner. Ah duh! They will totally split it! Charla is too nice to reject Dave (again) and Keith loves Tara and won't abandon her now. But my keen intuition stops here. I have forgotten how "twisted" (pun intended) this show is, so of course one of the couples will not be spliting the money. Fortunately for us, it is Charla who decides to keep the money... away from Dave... Dave pretends to be okay with the decision and vows to still be friends with Charla. Charla calls him on his "I'm lying" look. Dave says he doesn't know what she's talking about. He's lying. Whatever, he needs her more than she needs him. Toni pats Charla on the back for snubbing Dave. Charla almost falls down from the blow. Keith and Tara emerge from their "discussions." They have decided to share the money... with everyone... they are going to Las Vegas!!! Fireworks errupt and this time, I'm not referring to bitching and fighting. Paradise Hotel is over. Keith, Charla and Tara walk away with the money. Hot host girl walks into the camera and whispers something about Paradise Hotel 2. I can hardly contain my excitement.
posted by Tim at 11:43 PM

 
A short transcript of Dateline NBC's Whitney Houston: Diva in the Desert

After watching the Dateline NBC special last night, I have to say that Whitney Houston is crack, uh, I-I mean, wack! For those of you who missed this National Enquirer worthy special, it showed footage from Whitney's recent trip to a desert in Israel to stay with an African-American Jewish cult. Yes... Black Jews... moved from urban Chicago to a desert town in Israel. Then Whitney, in traditional African garb no less, got "re-baptized" in the Jordan River, all the while gabbing away on her cell phone. (This is not a joke). Then Whitney met Ariel Sharon, Israeli PM, but refused to shake his hand and instead, laughed into the camera. Huh? Finally, a shot of Whitney's tour bus (like literally, a tour bus.. to tour the desert, not world concert tour) stopping in the middle of the barren landscape so that she could take a pit stop. Imagine a multi-platinum megastar taking a pit stop at the side of the road? Emerging from her "bathroom break," Whitney puts on her headphones and begins to dance, flail her arms and sing loudly to whatever she's listening to. Dateline reporter: "Those around her are either pretending to be oblivious to her weird antics or have simply run out of answers to Whitney's strange behaviour." (note: Strange behaviour also includes being high at Divas Live this year, buying crack from a street in New Jersey and (although not mentioned on the show, but always bothering me) being prone to sweating a lot on stage)

Then they also aired the "interview" that Whitney gave to Wendy Williams, a NYC DJ. "Are you doing okay?" Wendy asks innocently..

"What the f*ck are you trying to say?! I don't ask about what you do so don't be prying into my private life Wendy! Why do you give a sh*t anyway?! I don't give a f#*kin sh*t about your business! I love you and all, but if you keeping dogging me like this (or some other black phrase i misinterpreted) I will have to come down and shut you up Wendy! God damn! What the f#ck is wrong with you guys?!" replies Whitney...

Finally, a segment about Whitney's dad suing her. Then he's in the hospital, while she's busy talking to her lawyers about suing back. Then he passes away. She doesn't attend his funeral.

I was actually sad for Whitney Houston. "I will always love you" is one of my all time favourite songs but she can't even seem to stand up straight nowadays, let alone sing her signature piece. The reporters questions whether this is a publicity stunt to "revive" her career. But unless she's hoping to break into the drug-trafficing biz, I highly doubt it.

Whitney's former saxophone player plays "I will always love you" on his sax and closes his eyes as if waiting for Whitney's voice to carry the melody. The song finishes and he opens his eyes, tears forming. "There’s a madness that people would never believe that happens to an individual who gets that famous," he says. "I hope one day she opens her eyes to who she really is."
posted by Tim at 2:22 PM