Recaps, commentary, highlights of your pop culture favourites and mine! Email me: timmybopper@yahoo.com

 
So much to write about so let's get to it:

First of all, how good was Smallville last night?! Well... if I'm being honest... it wasn't THAT amazing. I told my friend Elijah I'd give it a 7/10 and he pretty much agreed.

The thing is, while the hormonal teenager in me is relieved that Lana (a.k.a. Kristin Kreuk) didn't get killed off the show, the Smallville fan in me wishes she did. It would have added so much more OMPH than the predictable demise of Jonathan Kent. In fact, while the first half of last night's episode played so quickly I knew it had to be some sort of dream sequence, I was half-wishing that the dream would come true. Clark could tell Lana his secret, they could get engaged and then begin shopping for cheap wedding favors while planning their life together.... but I digress...

Sadly, Clark decided (foolishly I might add) to turn back time and as a consequence, his father died instead. Tough choice that Clarky made...

As for Lexana (that's what the wb.com message boarders call Lex and Lana), did I see sparks or did Lex just toss his glass into the fireplace extra hard last night? I'm totally curious to see what will happen if the two of them get together. Who knows, Lana will switch from talking about cappuccinos to talking about stock option trading. Or she'll follow Lex's money making dreams and take on a new job as a bextra lawyer. That is to say, it wouldn't be pretty but I love me some romantic triangle action.

Alright enough small(ville) talk. I started watching a couple new shows and I must mention them so to share them with you and also to remind me to tune in again next week.

The first show is called #1 Single and is a reality show that follows my grade seven crush (and one hit wonder hero) Lisa Loeb, as she goes in search of L.O.-L.O.-V.E. in New York. Lisa is still the same geeky, outgoing girl with awesome glasses that she was back in the day and it's refreshing to see her in her normal routine as opposed to in one of those bad VH1 Behind the Music specials. This week was the first episode and her first blind date was with a guy that - omg get this - "seranaded" her with his version of "Stay." Bad move buddy. That's like trying to sing "I Will Always Love You" to Whitney Houston. Why would you do that?! Needless to say, there was no second date.

My friend Paola saw Lisa a few months back filming the reality show over at Riverside Park just a few blocks away. "I was jogging and she was like right there," Paola told me excitedly. "I know you love her so you could jog with me and hopefully run into her too." I seriously considered for all of two minutes before I realized that my hatred of jogging outweighs my love for Lisa Loeb. Sorry.

The second show I'm watching is called "Love Monkey" and it stars Jason Priestly (a.k.a. Brandon Walsh from 90210) and the guy who played "Ed" on "Ed." I guess it's sorta like "Sex and the City" for guys only less slutty and less trite. Wait, so would that make it the "Golden Girls" for guys? Meh.

Anyway, it's funny, light-hearted and well-acted. Watch it.

Finally, if you're not watching Project Runway, GET ON IT. In my world, you're either "in" or "out" and if PR is not on your TIVO list, then as Heidi Klum would say, uh... "whatever goodbye is in German." You're out.
posted by Tim at 10:14 PM

 
Because it's hilarious...


posted by Tim at 6:59 PM

 
Things that are awesome:

1. Last night's episode of One Tree Hill.
Seriously, I need to be a writer on that show. I SO did that "have everyone's closing line tie into each other" bit for a church skit last fall in Montreal. Don't act like you don't remember that Joelle. And also awesome - Keith's comebacks to Dan as well as the final scene showing Brooke all alone. I know, sad right? But SO good for TV.

2. American Idol Tuesday night
When that terrible singer mentioned that he took lessons from Randy and Paula's DVD I bowled over in laughter. No, like literally. I had a bowl of cereal on my desk and it tipped over a bit because I pounded my fist guffaw-ling. Too good too good.

I'll also admit that Roshanda Tanika Shiquana whatever her name was, DID make some good points about Paula's lack of a career. I mean, I bet Paula would fail miserably if she took to the stage and tried "singing" today. And straight up, she isn't even that pretty (*gasp! mock horror*) That being said, that Roshanda Tanika Shiquana girl was ten times worse and a hundred pounds heavier so you KNOW she's got to go!

3. This:

posted by Tim at 7:10 PM

 
Pink's out with a new video called "Stupid Girls," in which she makes fun of ditzy Hollywood celebrities... yes, especially THAT ditzy Hollywood celebrity. Check out the vid and look for her awesome "portrayals" of Mary Kate Olsen, Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Simpson and Paris Hilton. Did I miss anyone? I'm not sure if I spotted Mariah and Hilary Duff in there too... you tell me:


posted by Tim at 10:00 PM

 
This is so exciting: It's being reported that girl group All Saints is planning to reunite!

Annd now their song "Never Ever" is stuck in my head.

Bet now it's stuck in yours too right?
posted by Tim at 1:12 PM

 
Finding this video and version of the song made my day. So good.


posted by Tim at 5:39 PM

 

Janet PLEASE! This is a malfunction of the worst kind! Get to the gym or get to Jenny Craig because seriously, this "big momma's house" look is NOT working for you.
posted by Tim at 3:27 PM

 
AMAZING episode of Desperate Housewives last night. That episode alone made up for an entire year (so far) of lackluster performances.

Every character had a chance to shine last night, yes, even Mrs. Applewhite who made for a maddening final scene. Grr! Danielle is so stupid for ratting her mother out! Now Brie will be blackmailed by Betty to keep her mouth shut when really she should be going to the police and making sure the Applewhites pack up that Uhaul and get the hell out of Wisteria Lane!! (Wow.. just a little worked up there.. sorry...)

Gabrielle's scenes at the church were LOL hillarious! The "son of a bitch" line was great as was her confession. (I liked it when she went immediately back into the booth to confess her lie and the new priest asked "When was your last confession?") However, her fight with Sister Bushy Eyebrows (or whatever her name is) was the best. And I loved that Gabby pulled a "Jesus Saves" banner to well, save Eyebrows from being burned. Gabrielle has definitely had the best plotlines this year and I have to admit that Eva Longoria is doing a great job in making Gabby more than just "the slutty one" y'know?

As for Teri Hatcher, she has NOT been doing a great job this year b/c frankly, she's annoying. But her sista-friend "goodbye snap" last night was funny as was the scene where her doctor-beau couldn't get through his steak. It's these more subtle nuances that I appreciate about DH, not the over the top stuff.

Finally, the subtle acting by Felicity Huffman proved that she deserved her recent Golden Globes nomination. When she asked Tom to forgive her, it was almost enough to make me cry. I said almost. It felt so earnest and real and heartfelt, which is a tough thing to do especially since the last scene was of her acting crazy and trying to sabotage Tom's job offer. Kudos to Felicity for a job well done.

I was hoping the Applewhites would be long gone by now b/c their storyline was dragging on and on and on. But after last night's eppy, I'm curious to see how this story will play out... Et toi?
posted by Tim at 3:18 PM

 



Miss Independent?

I don't understand why Kelly Clarkson would refuse to let American Idol contestants sing her songs. I mean, it's like turning your back on the people who got you to where you are. It's the same thing with people like Justin Timberlake and Ashley Parker Angel trying to distance themselves from their boyband past. Why are they so ashamed? If it wasn't for NSYNC and O-Town, they wouldn't even have a shot at a solo career. I dunno, just something that bugs me....
posted by Tim at 11:40 AM

 
So my roommate walked in on me doing something very embarrassing tonight. I jumped up from my seat and tried to change what was on the screen but it was too late. I was already caught in the act.

I was caught watching (and enjoying) "Skating With Celebrities" on FOX.

I know. Shameful right? Or not... Despite the lack of A-list "celebrity" talent (Dave Coulier? Really?) and the uncoordinated moves, it was actually really fun to watch! Granted, there were no triple jumps or lifts or anything but for first-timers, the programs were very well performed. Jillian Barberie (the annoying ex-weather girl) and John Zimmerman are SO HOT together. Like seriously, if I were John's actual pairs partner (or wife), I'd be worried. Like I'd totally put some Pet Tags on him or something before he runs away with Jillian.

Also shamefully fun to watch tonight? Beauty and the Geek 2. I didn't intend to but everytime I log onto thewb.com, I'm bombarded with preview clips and they're actually really funny! Wow. Talk about smart internet marketing eh?

There's this really really (and I'm trying hard not to be mean here) pathetic and sorry-looking Chinese "geek" on the show and it just pains me to watch him try to partner with this hot girl. Perhaps it's because I used to be (or still am) a pathetic and sorry-looking Chinese geek and I feel for him. He should really just stick to playing with his rubik's cube or playing Golden Tee Complete at home or something.

Then there's the guy who was described as "a geekier Carrot Top." Wow. Enough said.

The thing is, a lot of these so-labelled "geeks" are actually really intelligent people. Some have PhDs, some are Ortho Evra Lawyers and some are entrepreneurs. And yet they've been reduced to being portrayed as helpless, butt-ugly fools on national TV....

Oh god who the hell cares! It makes for awesome TV.
posted by Tim at 10:03 PM

 
MEGA PIC POST (A collection of stuff from the past week)

First and most importantly... THANK THE GOOD LORD Mariah Carey finally wore something decent tonight! Because it has sparred me from having to make a "Golden Globes" pun if you know what I mean...

You know what would go perfectly with that outfit? Some nice diamond bracelets

And thank god Mariah doesn't really look like this: (although it's quite funny if you click the pic and read the album cover)

Let's just say Mariah doesn't need any more valentine's day gift baskets filled with cookies and candy this year...

Also looking good - the always underappreciated Kate Beckinsale.


Now let's play "Guess who the blond bimbo is?"

Alanis Morrisette?!! I know, right?!

Time for some Britney pics. Note that I've also decided to call her "husband" Kevin FederSWINE. I dunno, I thought it was clever. And Azadeh approved too so it's gonna stick.


Yeahhhhh. No comment. Too many jokes I could be saying here...


Kelly Clarkson looking all rock-chicked-out in her uh, prom dress? (BTW as an aside, I'm tres upset that Kelly's releasing "Walk Away" as the last single from her album and not "Addicted.")


Round two of guess the blond:

A very womanly Avril Lavigne. She actually looks really good and I'm glad she's steering away from the bones and skulls crap she used to wear. She's like a business woman. Next thing you know she'll be singing about precious metal financing and stuff!

OC Stuff

Benjamin McKenzie has a brother! I dunno why I'm so excited to report that but I am!

And finally, apparently Anna is coming back... HELLO! ;)

That pic could totally stop viagra lawsuits Not funny? Alright, fine, I'm out.
posted by Tim at 11:04 PM

 
Okay, so I thought I liked the new Ashlee Simpson single, "L.O.V.E." right? But then I realized that she's not so much singing the verse as she is "half-talking" it y'know? Sure the chorus is catchy but she's supported by like ten lead vocali-.. I mean, "background singers." So yeah, my love for L.O.V.E. has changed. (like that? love for LOVE?)

Now that I've made my judgment, read what Billboard Magazine, the most prestigious music industry publication in the world had to say:

"Ashlee Simpson's husky, tuff-girl brand of music stands in stark contrast to her public image as a half-witted diva in training. But even without the tabloid fodder, she remains the day's most contrived pop star, unconvincing in a live setting and a seeming puppet of her writers and videoclip directors. Latest single "L.O.V.E." sets a new low, with its grating sing-songy rap and daffy inference of street cred. The repetitive chant of the chorus and Simpson's affected hand-waving intonation prove once and for all that she is perhaps the whitest girl on the planet. The "Underground Mix" featuring Missy Elliott only stands to make Simpson's performance all the more incongruous."

YIKES! Buh-bye Ashlee! I predict 2006 to be the year the Simpson family drops off the pop culture radar.
posted by Tim at 5:42 PM

 
Shut up! Did you know that there's a Myspace site for Kaitlin Cooper already? As in Marissa Cooper's sister?
posted by Tim at 9:38 PM

 
Can I tell you how excited I was tonight to watch Ashley Parker Angel's "There and Back" on MTV? Now after having watched it, I feel less excited. It was really... boring. I mean, he's definitely an engaging main character but the scenes jumped from house to job to random Jacob Underwood cameo to anniversary on the beach... there was no cohesiveness to keep the viewer tuned in.

Then again, I was totally an O-Town fan (no, I did NOT line up at Fairview Mall to see them and get their collectable trading cards...) so I shall keep watching Ash's reality TV foray and hope for juicier moments in episodes to come.

One other thought: Is it just me or does Ashley's girlfriend seem really useless? Sure she's pregnant and whatever, but quit mooching off your already-broke boyfriend and get a job girl! Damn.
posted by Tim at 11:14 PM

 
All this celebrity-watching is making me hate my life even more! Seriously.

All this talk of expensive cars and gold jewelry and fancy imported pet monkeys is really making me jealous!

I spent the holidays in Fort Lauderdale gawking at the million dollar homes and finding out all the big celebs that lived in them and all I could think about was how poor I'm going to be as a journalist. Some days I really wish I had those Finance and Accounting Jobs or knew how to get rich from precious metal investing.

But alas, I shall only live vicariously through the pages of US and In Touch. (sigh...)
posted by Tim at 9:46 PM

 
Cheap Flowers and Cheap Sex

Okay so there hasn't been anything new or *exciting* in the celeb world lately. I mean, there are only so many times I can hear about Nick and Jess or Brangelina without going Courtney-crazy y'know? (Nick just needs to buy some cheap flowers, send them over to The Simpsons and get back together with her already!) But THIS is just SH-ocking! Apparently there's an Ashlee Simpson SEX TAPE out there! What has become of minister's families?! Gasp!

and then...


(No, it's not an ad for "Dancing With the Stars 2" (that would be DREW Lachey, not Nick). This is just a hot pic of what could have been in 2006...)
posted by Tim at 5:13 PM