Recaps, commentary, highlights of your pop culture favourites and mine! Email me: timmybopper@yahoo.com

 
I am so giddy right now. I feel like a child who just licked a big, sweet lollipop for the first time in his life. Only I'm talking about the Britney Spears concert... okay.. same thing I guess?

It was SUCH an amazing night. Kelis opened and unfortunately for her, no one in Montreal knew her songs. So when my favourite Kelis song, "Caught out there" (a.k.a. "I hate you so much right now!") came on, her performance was just a little ironic. She's hooked up with Nas now so when she started screaming the chorus - "I hate you so much right now!" - I felt like it wasn't directed at her man anymore but at the lameass Montreal audience. Seriously no one stood up for her. People were just sitting there. Eating popcorn. And comparing slutty outfits. Thankfully, Britney was next.

Britney Spears is the ultimate performer. She manages to come across like a little girl just having some fun with her friends, while totally blowing your mind with incredible dance routines, stylish sets, jaw-dropping ensembles (more on that later) and amazingly accurate lip-syching! I had to double check with Micah to verify what songs she actually sang (Note: That would be her two ballads: Everytime and Shadow). The show was less dollhouse production and MUCH more sensual and mature. I don't feel bad at all about standing up the whole time and blocking the view of the little girl behind me, because honestly, she should NOT have been watching that! (And face it, she deserved to not see the concert with the incessantly shrill screaming she put me through the whole night! Little bitch!) Sorry... where was I?

Right... Brit Brit's newfound sensuality... Let's just say, from the moment the Chinese mandolin chords of "Touch of my Hand" came on, I was seriously gasping for breath. I am not even kidding. I am so glad Micah didn't wear his "WWJD" bracelet tonight because Jesus would definitely NOT be doing uh... what Britney was doing on stage! Curious? I was in such shock, I'm not even sure I caught everything, but there were two guys in white briefs rubbing each other, a girl in a black bra giving her mattress a massage (so to speak), a guy (again in briefs) thrusting his hips against his pillow and oh yeah, Britney in her nude Toxic outfit reclining in a bathtub! And just when you thought it couldn't get any hot and heavier, she began writhing on a bed to the sounds of "Breathe on Me" and proceeded to makeout with one of her dancers. I swear to god I need to get a prescription for a puffer stat!

Brunette Britney sang almost all her new songs, including my new favourites - "The Hook-Up" and "I've Got that Boom Boom," which had her wearing a hot pink lace-up with these baggy, "homie-style" pants. Other "outfits" consisted of pink bra and panties set, pink garter getup, a black leather catsuit and have I mentioned the nude outfit yet?

And then her stage presence. I knew she uses the same lines every show. From the "you guys rock" line that she used as default, to the "I've gone through a lot of ups and downs" bit that segued into "Everytime." But when Britney talked about her marriage - "You know what? If you guys are lucky, I just might hafta marry you tonight!" - it was refreshing to see that she could laugh at her mistakes. It made her suddenly seem so... real. She wasn't taking herself too seriously and that allowed her performance to come across less forced and more fun. When the lights finally came on after "Me against the music," I was still trying to find my breath. But after taking in an incredible hour and a half of Britney Spears, I wasn't sure that I wanted to exhale just yet.

posted by Tim at 12:19 AM