Recaps, commentary, highlights of your pop culture favourites and mine! Email me: timmybopper@yahoo.com

 
March 1/03 - Say NO to war!

*Warning* > This post contains material that may be offensive to some readers! In fact, I was going to submit this as one of my columns to the McGill Tribune, but after a few comments from people, I have decided that this piece is better left in the relative safety and more liberal pages on this blogspot. But you have been warned... (And besides, you know I'm just kidding around right?)

We can’t have a war. Nothing good can ever result from a war and going ahead with George Bush’s plan for an attack on Iraq would most certainly lead to devastating, if not tragic, consequences. Do you know what this could mean?! For starters, just think of all the TV shows that would get pre-empted in favour of “breaking news” coverage of the war or worse, yet another “State of the Union” address by the aforementioned President Bush! I can just see the requisite explanatory line running across the bottom of my TV screen: Dawson’s Creek will not be seen tonight so that we can air live coverage of Iraqis fleeing their homes and running for their lives from American bombs. Not only that, but once-entertaining newsmagazine shows such as 20/20 and Dateline will stop airing interviews with Michael Jackson’s make-up artist and Carnie Wilson’s plastic surgeon in favour of sit-down interviews with U.N. security council reps and state senators! Are terrorism and nuclear weapons really more important than Carnie Wilson’s 100 pound weight loss through liposuction?! And we thought TV couldn’t get any worse than Married by America. A war will also lead to a barrage of hope-filled, sentimental, “We are the world”-type songs sung by B-list musicians desperate to get their waning voices back on the radio. I bet Kelly Clarkson is sitting by her phone right about now. Of course once the war is over, these powerful ballads of “peace and unity” will fall off the charts and radio will return to the equally-inspiring words of Shania Twain’s “I’m gonna get you good” and Avril Lavigne’s “Sk8ter Boi.” And finally, the uncalled for rash of patriotism will spawn an uncalled for rash of war movies, starring young male actors hoping to up their big-screen credibility by starring in a big budget war hero flick. (C’mon, it’s almost like a rite of passage) Somewhere out there, an Ashton Kutcher army thriller is waiting to be rushed into production. Sheryl Crow recently attended an awards show wearing a “War is not the Answer” t-shirt. I don’t think she was campaigning for world peace. Crow knows that with a war filling the pages of newspapers and dominating the airwaves of radio and TV, no one will have time to watch her latest music video or read about her sexy new image in the latest issue of FHM. Who needs to hear about Sultry Sheryl when we can stare at photos of Sexy Saddam right?

So you see, war is no good and the costs of war by far outweigh the benefits. On the other hand, Survivor: Iraq would make for good viewing…


March 24/03 - The Academy Awards

Michael Moore goes from basking in a standing ovation for his sharp documentary, Bowling for Columbine to making a fool of himself and his cause amidst a chorus of boos... Instead of defending his passion for peace, he has effectively insulted the American public and successfully ensured that Bush's war approval rating will shoot straight up tomorrow morning. Best director of the year if I do say so myself.
posted by Tim at 4:01 PM